The shared sin of online dating is that we are the flakiest generation in the history of relationships. Online dating makes us feel that there is an infinite marketplace of It offers personality, religion, and preference matches. Online dating sites are well known for matching guys and girls up according to personality, religion, and preferences, etc. Many Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women (abundant supply) to like-hearted men (a paucity), but it at least widens the net for Christians Marriage in the Lord. “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians ). So, a Courtship is allowed, unlike the dating, we know today. Others may call it dating, but we Muslims prefer the word “courting” because, while a date by definition usually contains “ New ... read more
You can always know how much you idolize someone by how angry you get at them when they do not meet your expectations. Double-sided idols are expressed in two extremely different ways and yet have the same root sin as the cause of those sinful expressions.
For example, if you are struggling with idolizing your body and you seek to overcome this sin by being balanced, you will always be swaying back and forth between being a gluttonous overweight person to being a fitness fanatic. Your attempt to stay in the middle will force you to always be pushing or pulling to one side or the other. Hence why so many people have a long history of rollercoaster diets, gaining massive amounts of weight only to lose massive amounts of weigh just as many times.
The stability never comes because they are still idolizing their body, they are just manifesting this sin in two different extreme ways. Double-sided idolatry is why American weddings are the most lavish and expensive in the world while our divorce rate is also among the highest. When people idolize each other relationally, one minute their significant other is surely an angel disguised as a human on earth, and then the next minute this former angel is certainly a demon disguised as a human.
Idolatry can never be balanced. It is always an extreme one way or the other. People who idolize parenthood either obsess over their children as though they are certainly the most important beings on the universe, or they end the idea of having kids at all by having an abortion.
Someone who idolizes children will never be balanced about them. The Bible Says Being Balanced Is Not the Cure to Sin. Being Radically Unbalanced for Christ Is the Cure. Therefore, the problem to our idolatry and sinfulness will never be cured through any sort of management or external resolution to do better.
Certainly this is why Jesus said our love for others should look like hate compared to our love for him Luke Jesus never called us to be balanced. He called us to be completely unbalanced for him. When we seek Christ above all else, believing that he has transformed us into a new creation with different desires that want only him, only then will be free from the double-sided sword of idolatry. So what does the Bible say about being balanced?
In practical ways we should try to be balanced. But when it comes to our love and devotion, we must not seek to be balanced. We must radically seek Christ. com Menu Skip to content. Follow me on Twitter Like me on Facebook Follow me on Instagram Check out my YouTube channel.
Being Balanced Can Lead to Double-Sided Idolatry Double-sided idols are expressed in two extremely different ways and yet have the same root sin as the cause of those sinful expressions. They seem even more similar in contrast to societies that rely on arranged marriages, cousin marriages, or bride service, where the prospective groom works for future in-laws before marriage. In another sense, however, online dating offers an improvement over conventional dating, which is rapidly devolving from courtship increasing closeness over time with the eventual prospect of marriage to hook-ups sexual intimacy early, even before an exclusive relationship is formed.
Online dating requires consideration of a prospective mate before physical contact occurs, and usually progresses from "just looking" to e-mail exchanges, texts, and cell phone calls, and then a face-to-face meeting. Electronic exchanges carry their own etiquette, so a person's character and charm or lack thereof are displayed early on.
Christians can use online dating in ways that express discernment, modesty, and self-control, not only in sexual boundaries, but also in the very process of getting to know another person gradually.
Christians use the Internet for building all kinds of human relationships: evangelism, discipleship, friendship, family, and workplace. In today's society, the only thing odder than searching for a soul mate online may be not doing so. Leslie Ludy is the author of Sacred Singleness: The Set-Apart Girl's Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment Harvest House and coauthor of When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy-Girl Relationships Multnomah.
When my sister-in-law Kristina was in her 30s and unmarried, she received an endless amount of pressure from well-meaning friends and family members to take matters into her own hands when it came to finding a marriage partner. They counseled her to move to a bigger city, join a singles' group, and make herself more available to men. But Kristina believed that if it was God's intention for her to marry, he was able to bring her husband into her life out of nowhere, without the help of singles' groups, blind dates, or eHarmony.
And that is exactly what happened. As she built her life around Christ instead of the pursuit of marriage, he orchestrated a beautiful love story in his perfect time and way as she simply trusted him with all her heart. If you are single, God has a much higher calling upon your life than spending all your time and energy trying to snag a marriage partner. As Paul wrote, being unmarried is an amazing opportunity to serve the Lord without distraction 1 Cor.
It's true that you might find a decent partner by reading books on how to get noticed or by joining an Internet dating service. But what amazing heaven-scripted beauty we forgo when we try to write the story ourselves. God is in the business of writing incredible love stories.
The problem is that most of us aren't willing to leave the pen in his hands. After God promised a son to Sarai and Abram in their old age, Abram, at the urging of Sarai, tried to rush God's plan by taking matters into his own hands and sleeping with his wife's maid-servant, leading to the birth of Ishmael. What a messy situation this turned out to be. It was a self-manufactured, subpar solution of something for which God had a far better plan Issac.
In the same way, when we rush ahead of God in search of a love story, we end up with less than God's very best. The most God-honoring way to find a godly spouse is to stop hunting for one, and instead focus your entire life around Jesus Christ and his priorities. If he wants you to be married, he is more than capable of writing your love story in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely place—without the help of blind dates, singles' groups, and online dating services.
God can bring your spouse to you in the remotest village in Africa, or in the most hidden slum of Haiti. Throughout my past 16 years of ministry, I've encountered many godly men and women who didn't put life on hold until they met their spouse.
Instead, they poured themselves into building the kingdom of God—even though it meant being less available to the opposite sex. Amazingly, it was in a place of seeming obscurity that God wrote their love stories.
Remember that God cares more about this area of your life than even you do. He wants the pen of your life, not to make you miserable, but to bless you beyond all you could ask or think. Those who put their hope in him will not be disappointed. One might think that with 97 million single adults in the U. age 18 and older according to the Census , it would be easy to find Mister or Miss Right.
Not so, say many single and single-again adults of all ages. Enter online dating, society's answer to this dilemma. Match, eHarmony, AdamMeetEve, Christian Soulmates, and a thousand other online dating services, Christian and secular, offer themselves as a possible, sometimes seemingly sure way to find a perfect relationship or soul mate. In my experience with single adults, at least half of them have tried online dating. What should a single adult think about these services? Especially a Christian single adult who desires to marry, but discovers only 20 percent of churches offer a group where single adults of similar ages can create and develop friendships with the opposite sex?
As a former pastor to single adults for 21 years, and now director of Assemblies of God Single Adult Ministries, I'm not against online dating services. I have seen a few of these relationships form and mature into healthy marriages. I do have many concerns, though. Online dating services are tools to bring about a contact. They're not much different from a person meeting someone in the grocery store, except the person may live 2, miles away.
Because of this, rather than condemn online relationships, I urge extreme caution and offer tools for navigating the world of online relationships. Do realize that people can and do misrepresent themselves and exaggerate their personal qualities. People tend to reveal too much too soon online, making it easy to build false intimacy.
Depth of character cannot be known online or even on the phone. Because of this, it is a good idea to meet in person early in the relationship. Online stalkers do exist, so protect your identity. Use caution and maintain a healthy level of skepticism.
Don't use your real name as a screen name, and don't assume someone is a Christian because he or she says so. It is a good idea to meet in a public place and not travel alone to a strange place to meet an online connection in person—and let someone know where you're going.
Online dating can work, but realize that most Internet matches do not lead to long-term relationships, and that online dating can take a lot of time. God knows your desire for a relationship with the opposite sex. He's a good matchmaker: he paired Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and many other model biblical couples. The promise in Philippians that God will supply all your needs doesn't refer only to food, shelter, and clothing.
Trust him to provide in his timing. Until and after he does provide, deepen your relationship through prayer and study of his Word.
Many Christians struggle with the idea of online dating. Does he see it as not trusting him? Is online dating a sin?
What does the Bible say about things like online dating? While the Bible obviously never directly talks about online dating, the wisdom found in Scripture can certainly help us answer many of the common questions Christian singles have when they are considering online dating.
So here are 7 points to consider when it comes to online dating as a Christian single. What he really cares about is who you decide to spend time with, date, and then marry. We should use wisdom here. It would be a lack of solid reasoning to assume you have a good chance of meeting a great Christian spouse by bar-hopping every weekend. Likewise, randomly throwing your profile online for the whole world to see is probably not going to be an effective way of finding a godly spouse with a desire to glorify God.
So in that sense, God really does care how you go about trying to meet people. But as long as you are relying on biblical wisdom, listening to the counsel of your Christian community, and truly trying to honor God, there is nothing inherently sinful about online dating. Again, what God really cares about is who you marry, not how you meet this person. God commands Christians to marry other Christians 1 Corinthians , 2 Corinthians As long as this is your goal, there is nothing wrong with using online dating.
Listen to what John Piper has to say about online dating by clicking here. While online dating is not a sin, there are many dangers to online dating for Christian singles. Social media is so tempting to misuse because it is so easy to portray ourselves however we want. We can take the perfect picture, phrase our sentences just right, and reveal only the most flattering information about ourselves.
So if you decide to give online dating a chance, you have to know yourself. Are you easily wowed and gullible? Do you really think everyone online is there with good intentions? If you know you have a history of picking guys who are handsome over honoring, rich over respectful, or charismatic over Christ-centered, then you need to be very careful online dating.
If you are a guy who instantly maxes out the credit cards when a pretty girl gives you attention, again, you need to be extra cautious when mingling online. Be honest. If you lack discretion, if you are not known for your discernment, or if you are easily wowed by surface information, then online dating might not be for you.
If nothing else, at least ask a friend to keep you accountable as you search for a godly spouse online. Online dating is a pretty bold move. You are making a serious step forward in being very active and not passive in your hopes to find a spouse. The danger here is that once you start pressing forward, you might press forward too hard and compromise since you want to find a Christian spouse so bad. This is where Christian accountability will really benefit you.
But make sure you include other Christians in this process who you respect. Bounce ideas off of them. Let them do some searching too on your behalf. Also, this is just a good safety tip. If the person you are dating is solid, he or she will respect your concern for safety and appreciate the effort you are putting in to find a solid spouse. At minimum, tell other people who you are going to meet and where you are meeting them. Dating is an emotional rollercoaster.
I know that is impossible to do perfectly. And quite frankly, this is a serious thing. Trying to find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with is no small matter.
With all that said, you are going to wear yourself out if you take each date too seriously. Just go on a date and enjoy it for what it is. a date. Will you probably jump way ahead in your mind, imagining if this person will make a good dad to your 3 children named Heather, Austin, and Frank? But then come back to reality and live with realistic expectations.
You are probably not going to meet your future husband or wife on the first date or two you go on when you begin online dating. Try to enjoy each date for what it is. I believe the intention behind dating should be to find a spouse. Having said that, there are still beneficial parts to dating even if that specific relationship does not result in marriage.
But also know you are probably not going to marry the first, second, or third person you date. Dating people enhances your character. It increases your discernment. It refines what qualities you really care about in another person. Dating people will force you to realize things about yourself you would otherwise never have learned. It can prepare you to become the person you need to be to thrive when you finally do meet your future spouse.
If done right, the dating process including online dating should enhance your ability to walk with God and follow his leading. Learn what God wants you to learn through each date.
The most important goal of dating is to figure out if this person is your future spouse. It might seem like a waste of time if you dated someone and then broke up; but if through dating this person you learned he or she is not your future spouse, then you did not waste your time.
Wasting your time in dating only happens when you continue to date someone even after you know for certain you are not going to marry him or her. How long should you date someone? You should date them as long as you need to help you know for certain that God wants you to marry him or her.
For some this is a few months. For others this is a few years. I believe each relationship really is different. But if I had to put a number on it, I personally think a healthy dating season is around a year or two. You want to give yourself enough time to really get to know this person. Just remember the true goal of dating, which is to decide whether this person is the one you want to marry or not. I think traditional dating should be your first option.
But if these traditional means are not working, it might be time to give online dating a chance. I know plenty of nineteen-year-olds who are mature enough to get married. Will they have trouble? Yeah, but everyone has trouble in marriage. Trouble can happen at any age. But I digress. You have time. But you need to be realistic. The older you get, the less options you will have. Online dating is not a sin. The Bible does not condemn things like online dating. God is still sovereign over your relational life no matter what course you take to meet your spouse.
Walk with God, be biblically grounded, and stay focused on the real goals of dating. Put Christ first. If you do these things, online dating might really benefit you. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks.
It's completely free - my gift to you. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. Click here to visit Amazon. com Menu Skip to content. Follow me on Twitter Like me on Facebook Follow me on Instagram Check out my YouTube channel. What Does the Bible Say About Being You may also like: Is It Wrong to Want to Be Married? A Guidebook for Every Phase of Christian Singleness.
Posted on Monday, September 26,
Courtship is allowed, unlike the dating, we know today. Others may call it dating, but we Muslims prefer the word “courting” because, while a date by definition usually contains “ New Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women (abundant supply) to like-hearted men (a paucity), but it at least widens the net for Christians God uses our choices, other people, and sometimes even modern technology, to bring about marriages. Before a Christian single considers any of the “newer” methods of finding a spouse The shared sin of online dating is that we are the flakiest generation in the history of relationships. Online dating makes us feel that there is an infinite marketplace of According to one survey, a total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile. Research says one-third of all people who use online dating sites have never The Bible Says Being Balanced Is Not the Cure to Sin. Being Radically Unbalanced for Christ Is the Cure. Therefore, the problem to our idolatry and sinfulness will never be cured through any ... read more
View Help Index. I think traditional dating should be your first option. By going online, you will have many more potential options. Copyright © Christianity Today. At minimum, tell other people who you are going to meet and where you are meeting them.Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women abundant supply to like-hearted men a paucitybut it at least widens the net for Christians seeking partners. Trouble can happen at any age. You have time. Christians should also be balanced in their everyday lives. Copyright © Christianity Today. I believe that online dating would only be a distraction for me, and I never had any peace about using it personally. At minimum, tell other people who you are going to meet and where you are meeting them, is online dating a sin.